critical observation.

he says that a life without critical obvservation is not worth to be lived,
there for,
here's my critical observation:

i'm not happy.
i'm not sad. i'm not suicidal.
i'm not bored.
but i'm not happy.
i don't think it's due to the lack of anyone in particular
or the presence of anything particular
i love my family.
i love my friends.
but this personal way i chose
is getting harsh.
and dangerous if i let it.
so, it's up to me.
and the "it's gonna come eventually" actitud
sucks.
i could blame it to the ones that run away.
or to the ones that stick with me.
but it's totally up to me.